Our goal; to ultimately become 100% self sufficient. This is our beginning. Our trials, our losses, and our climb up the rocky mountain to the infinite win. This is for those who are the curious. The ones who decide their fate and not let it into the hands of the unknown. This is our story of letting go from the path most walked.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
Family, Friends, and the Plummet
Something that’s been the main factor in aiding this as being hard in deciding to go isn’t in relation to financial aspects, desire to, or uncommon wants between Mike and I; its family and friends. One thing you have to think about before going on this sort of ‘journey’ is those you will be, in a sense, leaving behind. This is something I, unlike Michael, personally have little experience in.
I moved to Indiana for a few months for college right after high school, but was soon to return. I was beyond homesick, and being an almost complete introvert (just a fancy way I like to run around calling myself incredibly shy I suppose) at the time, I was so lonely.
Michael’s story on the other hand involves much intent to not stay in one place for too long. After high school he went to college about 8 hours away from home, and was happy. After that he joined the Army sending him all around, and he was still content. Such a traveling soul.
He is what I feel will be the most help when it comes to being home sick. To dull the pain a little bit, there’s nothing like traveling with the one you love if you’re a soul like me. Although I know a few that insist on doing something like this on their own; more power to them. Hopefully someday, even though I enjoy his company, I can be a more independent not so home sick individual as well.
I'm sad to say even the friends and family that I call mine, I don't see enough as it is. I've always been somewhat of a loner no matter how much I love someone. Knowing their safe, sounds, and happy enough is good for me. Keeping contact with many is something I tend to fail at as well, which I intend to change. With the coming leave date chasing after us, the quest to see everyone near and dear to me is becoming a hard path. The main fact being because we bought a ’98 Cadillac in July of this year and have had nothing but issues. It was in the shop for about 5 months actually, and as we recently got it back, once again it failed on us. I like to refer to it as our “franken-caddi” because with as many different parts from multiple vehicle scrap yards as it has in it, it only seems fitting. Anyways, just that fact has made it incredibly hard to see those that I will be missing as much as I can before the leave date. I’m so thankful to have the friends and family that we do around us that have been helping Mike and I around since it recently died on us…again. Where we intend to go, to a warmer climate, we’re buying bikes. Hey, it’s better for the environment and we don’t have to pay insurance on it, ha-ha. Maybe I’ll lose this tummy pouch of mine too ;)
I believe this is the hardest part. Not only knowing that we have usually immediate help when it is needed close by, but knowing that if someone needs us as well, we’re only a stone throw away. Also just having an interconnected tree that branches its arms around us and everyone else in it that is here is calming when you realize what sort of world it really is out there. I guess this is part of the growing up process tho, at least the tearing away from the “tit” part. Our family and friends will always be there for us, and even with so many miles between, we’ll be there the best we can as well. Besides, I feel I’ve only really been good for the words I spur out to people; I can still do so from afar.
It reminds me of a certain river fall Mike and I went to on our trip to the UP in Michigan two years ago. He was there previously with his cousins’ years’ back, and thought it was a brilliant plan to take me there as well since we were passing it anyways. The point of it being was to cliff dive. I just stood there waiting for someone else to do it first since there was another group there. They kept lolly gagging around which sent my anxiety soaring even further every time I took another look over the cliff with no one jumping over to tell me, ‘Sharayah, there is no river monster to drag you down or rock to smash you to bits on 3 feet under the surface’. Mike finally took my hand and said, “I’ll go with you”. Still scared, but having sparked my confidence a little higher and holding his hand, he took a deep breath on the way down and I screamed out mine that I tried to hold in as my last foot left the rocky surface. All at once I was floating and plummeting. A never ending abrupt second before my head was well below 10 feet under the surface. I jumped another dozen or so times after that climbing up to the higher boulders to jump, screaming, twirling, singing, and creating a confidence I hadn’t had 2 hours prior.
For those of you that dislike her, so what, and for those of you that adore her, here’s another reason she made it into my heart; I found that once Tayler Swift said, “I think fearless is having fears but jumping anyway”. In relation to not only the cliff jumping adventure we had, but as well as the metaphorical cliff we’re about to dive off of soon, I think I can well say that I’m fearless. In which this brings me confidence on top of it. What a combo. This fear that remains in my heart for leaving the ones I don’t want to be more than 50 miles away from, I believe will only bring even more love if at all possible. My friends and family that fear for our somewhat unknown path can take on that title as well, for they are indeed fearless for not strapping us down in their basements to prevent us from leaving.
It’s a hard fact indeed knowing what you know around you isn’t going to be exactly what you know around you anymore for a time. Such an uncertainty with so many what ifs. Yet, not only ‘what if’ can go wrong, but ‘what if’ can go right. I’m confident that even with the flip of a coin, at least 50% of everything will undoubtedly go right. With Mike’s traveling experience as well, I’m absolutely sure even our “go right” chances are much higher.
So here’s to our taking a leap that many won’t do. Here’s to our family and friends that will not be forgotten. Here’s to the bulk amount of post cards we will be sending out at each stop.