Our goal; to ultimately become 100% self sufficient. This is our beginning. Our trials, our losses, and our climb up the rocky mountain to the infinite win. This is for those who are the curious. The ones who decide their fate and not let it into the hands of the unknown. This is our story of letting go from the path most walked.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
The Click Clack Noises are in Our Heads
We’re all snuggly strapped in, and our feet are hanging off the floor just a few inches until the platform underneath begins its descend. I’m looking over across at him while his face is looking onward. So much enthusiasm and content with the position we’re in. My knuckles are turning the color of a fresh fallen snow on sand, and my breathing begins to intensify faster and faster with every click and clack that rummages its way into my ear. His smile widens with every foot we incline; the revolting teenager sneaking through just a bit. I can somehow feel the raging vibration building up in this throat. There hasn’t been a way out for some time now. No possible way to jump and the people already screaming behind us is regarded as normal so mine would do no good even if I let out my belting horror. Yet I’m not really scarred; maybe exhaustingly excited? That point in time where thankfully there is something intended to hold, otherwise I wouldn’t have a clue what to do with my hands from pure anxiety. Looking over at him to hold on to what little sanity I didn’t lose from the ride up; the clicking slows. All breathing around us rapidly comes to a halt, all eyes widen, and all lungs ready for absolute release. A brisk “Are you ready for this?” he says before the plunge. Without really a thought about it, a sudden screaming “Yeeeeeeees” is liberated from the inner power of my larynx. All fear has dissipated. Nothing but the piercing wind on my face and in my hair, the instinct to hold precise, and the feeling to express all built up excitement matters for this short minute. Other than minor ignorable whiplash, there was nothing to fear. The excitement I built up was only for good measure to crush whatever doubt that lived inside of me.
I know I referred to jumping off of a cliff in a prior post, but this time we’re locked and loaded for takeoff. Nothing seemed more fitting than explaining the process of my first time on a rollercoaster. I thought it was a great idea until I was locked in leaving myself to despite my decision, but the end was just exhilarating.
Michael put in his two weeks today, leaving us at most 2 ½ weeks until take off. So with such a short amount of time before the wheels start turning, the packing, finishing selling of unneeded items and visiting those I need to see is in crunch. Here’s us clacking up the hill; Am I anxious? Nah, but please watch yourself so I don’t fall on you as I’m passing out. There is also a wee bit full of skepticism for such an unfollowed path, but the other half of me is alongside of Mike. His content and cool will indeed keep me off the coals for a time. We decided to click ourselves in just as we decided to initially take the jump.
With the weather for the next week expected to fall well into the negatives, our heating supply nearing below the 5% mark, and our eviction date rearing around all we want to do is hit some warm weather asap. Waiting is also the most restless part of it all. We feel like children at 2am on Christmas Eve tossing and turning waiting for 10am when mom and dad said we can get up to open presents (even though we’ll be up well before 8 jumping on them).
A few nights ago we moved half of our stuff into the RV to do some more self-acclimating. Not expecting to have to wear our winter outfits under the sheets after the heater was even in there 4 hours prior, as you can guess we moved everything else back in the next morning. I’m praying we winterized it enough and it can make it up our driveway with all of this snow, here’s to hoping there isn’t much more coming. BTW, for those of you who don’t know; our driveway is the driveway the devils minions created. Last year we had two internet installer vans and a tow truck stuck… Yeah. She’s a raggedy uphill seductress about to lure your vehicle into the ‘pond’ on both sides of it and never let you go.
Until next time – Positivity beats all adversity. Just smile when you’d rather knock your forehead against the wall from everything life throws at you. Even if it looks like this, it kinda counts (See below). Just don't look anyone straight in the eye. =)